Come to think of it
The beauty of being negative
Why should I change my state of mind from negative and all-the-time unsatisfied with everything to positively happy and content with all that there is? WIIFM, read, What’s in it for me? Being negative has much to offer really. I can throw tantrums, mess a good day, ruin a beautiful day out with the family, making things difficult for everyone who cares to deal with me on anything at all, and so much more. I can purposely arrive early for weddings just to justify not having to stay till the `bersanding ceremony’ and meet so many people. I always find meeting people daunting, because I am always lost for words, and usually fail to think of nice tings to say, simply because I don't see much of nice things to comment. I would sometimes don’t talk to my hubby, just so that he’ll feel guilty and as a way to blame him for the lowly dissatisfaction that gets into me.
I am a negative thinker who glorifies being less satisfied about almost everything. It makes me feel good, oozing with power. The power to cloud people’s faces. I know I can do this better with people who love me because they are the ones who would care and be honest to me. How satisfied it makes me.
Then again, I think this is so much easier than being a big liar, or in a more diplomatic term, a hypocrite. I can't understand one who would call another to be sickening, bad and horrible, stupid and inefficient, low morale and lack charisma, and this and that, BUT, in front of that person, she would become friendly, "bertepuk tampar", give nice comments on his blog postings, and such. I find this truly unacceptable. I just can't do it. I so don't understand how some people, in fact, a lot that I know, can get into this falsehood. Their faces I think so thick with deceit. If I find one person less to my liking for one reason or another, and there are a few in my work place, I really wouldn't appear friendly to him or her at all. I would avoid speaking to him, I wouldn't even want to be his or her facebook friend, leave alone go out for makan makan with that person. Well, I suppose that's me, the most disgruntled negative mama.
I feel that one who is a hypocrite should never be perceived as a true friend. There is no sincerity. I feel that only a sincere person will have the capacity to be a worthy friend. And when you avoid talking bad about people that you have issues with, you watch your words so that you will not hurt people's feelings ultimately. One can never satisfy everyone. One must learn to always appreciate her own strength and weaknesses, and behave accordingly. I am in a continuous quest to be a worthy companion to myself, to my true friends, people who really care about me.
And today, when I think about this, I know I am more grateful than ever, I feel that I am the luckiest, for having a hubby who is so damn understanding and bloody selamba, love me and because of that love would cope up with my weaknesses, for the stuck up me, for the thrash that I am sometimes. Alhamdulillah.
Why should I change my state of mind from negative and all-the-time unsatisfied with everything to positively happy and content with all that there is? WIIFM, read, What’s in it for me? Being negative has much to offer really. I can throw tantrums, mess a good day, ruin a beautiful day out with the family, making things difficult for everyone who cares to deal with me on anything at all, and so much more. I can purposely arrive early for weddings just to justify not having to stay till the `bersanding ceremony’ and meet so many people. I always find meeting people daunting, because I am always lost for words, and usually fail to think of nice tings to say, simply because I don't see much of nice things to comment. I would sometimes don’t talk to my hubby, just so that he’ll feel guilty and as a way to blame him for the lowly dissatisfaction that gets into me.
I am a negative thinker who glorifies being less satisfied about almost everything. It makes me feel good, oozing with power. The power to cloud people’s faces. I know I can do this better with people who love me because they are the ones who would care and be honest to me. How satisfied it makes me.
Then again, I think this is so much easier than being a big liar, or in a more diplomatic term, a hypocrite. I can't understand one who would call another to be sickening, bad and horrible, stupid and inefficient, low morale and lack charisma, and this and that, BUT, in front of that person, she would become friendly, "bertepuk tampar", give nice comments on his blog postings, and such. I find this truly unacceptable. I just can't do it. I so don't understand how some people, in fact, a lot that I know, can get into this falsehood. Their faces I think so thick with deceit. If I find one person less to my liking for one reason or another, and there are a few in my work place, I really wouldn't appear friendly to him or her at all. I would avoid speaking to him, I wouldn't even want to be his or her facebook friend, leave alone go out for makan makan with that person. Well, I suppose that's me, the most disgruntled negative mama.
I feel that one who is a hypocrite should never be perceived as a true friend. There is no sincerity. I feel that only a sincere person will have the capacity to be a worthy friend. And when you avoid talking bad about people that you have issues with, you watch your words so that you will not hurt people's feelings ultimately. One can never satisfy everyone. One must learn to always appreciate her own strength and weaknesses, and behave accordingly. I am in a continuous quest to be a worthy companion to myself, to my true friends, people who really care about me.
And today, when I think about this, I know I am more grateful than ever, I feel that I am the luckiest, for having a hubby who is so damn understanding and bloody selamba, love me and because of that love would cope up with my weaknesses, for the stuck up me, for the thrash that I am sometimes. Alhamdulillah.
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